Shadow's Pain
by Frontline
Summary: Shadow struggles to come to terms with his new life without Maria, since joining GUN


Sonic X is the property of TMS Entertainment and 4Kidz, not this author. This is purely a work of fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Rouge sat in the GUN briefing room, only half listening to the Captain who was debriefing them. The mission had been fairly straight forward anyway, just another Reconnaisance to check for any Eggman activity in. Her real concern was Shadow, standing at the back with his arms folded, staring at nothing. Glancing at Topaz, she could tell that she was concerned, too. Considering what had happened, she had every reason to be.

Twilight Valley:  
>14:00<br>Rouge lay flat on the rocks, scanning the ground below with her binoculars, tracking the three objects moving below her, recognisable as Eggman's robots, two legged machines with missile pods mounted on their shoulders. Rouge smiled to herself, activating her radio; 'Targets approaching position. Stand by, boys.'  
>Omega's monotone voice responded;<br>'Alert, tactical situation has altered.'  
>'What...?' Rouge started to ask, when a loud roaring noise shattered the silence and Shadow launched himself out of the darkness, spinning into a whirring ball of black fury. He struck the first robot dead centre, bouncing away before it exploded, it's CPU crushed. Aware they were under attack, the remaining two responded, missile pods opening. With a loud roar , two pairs of rockets shot away, heading straight for Shadow. Showing no concern, Shadow accelerated, dodging the first pair, causing them to slam into the canyon wall. Faster than Rouge could follow, he reversed course, speeding back towards the approaching rockets, darting between them without breaking stride. They tried to follow and collided with each other, detonating with a blinding flash that lit up the valley.<br>'Rouge, what's going on down there?'  
>Topaz yelled over the radio, from inside her helicopter Gunship.<br>'Shadow's got his own ideas about this operation, that's what.'  
>Rouge yelled back.<br>'We need assistance down here, fast.'  
>Rouge launched herself into the air, gaining altitude as Topaz's Apache Helicopter roared down towards the fight, Gatling cannon barking. The hail of rounds struck the two robots, bouncing off their armour with no effect. One robot abandoned it's attack on Shadow, launching a pair of missiles towards Topaz. She pulled up hard, the rockets passing a metre under her fuselage, just as Omega entered the battle, his arm cannons firing. Topaz joined in again, their combined power shredding the robot's armour and it collapsed to the ground. Rouge scanned the valley, zeroing in on Shadow again, who was duelling with the last robot and she dived down to assist. Her Tornado Kick struck the machine in the leg, shearing it off and Shadow unleashed Chaos Spear, driving the energy spikes straight through it's chest. Even before it detonated, Rouge had landed, storming up to Shadow.<br>'What's the idea, huh? You nearly blew the whole operation!'  
>If Shadow was fazed by her anger, he certainly didn't show it, turning his back on her and walking away. Rouge was about to follow him, when Topaz came on the radio;<br>'Alright. Mission's complete. Stand by for extraction.'  
>Rouge looked up at the darkening sky, spotting the BlackHawk helicopter descending towards them and shook her head. This wasn't what she considered a success.<p>

GUN Base  
>As soon as the briefing finished, Shadow was first out of the door, racing through the corridors of the base, ignoring the startled looks of the soldiers. Reaching the landing field, he jumped to the roof of one of the hangers, staring up at the starry night without really seeing. He found himself wondering whether one of those stars was Space Colony. Despite his mood, he heard the footsteps behind him, spinning around to find Rouge looking at him, with her hands on her hips.<br>'I thought I'd find you here.' She said, coolly. 'I need to talk to you.'  
>Shadow ignored her, turning back to stare out over the landing field.<br>'I've nothing to talk about.' He said, flatly and Rouge bristled.  
>'Oh, really? How about you running around like a loose cannon, attacking three of Eggman's Mechs single handed and nearly getting us all killed? Did you even think about that?'<br>'Don't insult me, Rouge. I can handle Eggman's machines.'  
>'That's not the point, Shadow. We're supposed to be a team.'<br>Shadow shrugged;  
>'That's not my problem. If you don't like it, then you're free to leave.'<br>Without giving her a chance to answer, Shadow leapt off the roof, leaving Rouge standing there with her fists clenched. Of all the arrogant, stubborn... She considered following him, but decided against it. He'd calm down in time, and then she'd try again. If only she understood what he was thinking.

Shadow ran, his thoughts racing faster than his feet. He felt angry, and confused. In some ways, he'd felt better back when his memories were gone and he was working with Eggman. Things had seemed simpler then. He'd had a definate purpose, to get revenge against the Earth and he hadn't had to think much beyond that. Now, he had the freedom to think for himself and that hurt in ways he hadn't expected. He had a new life, but it was all too complicated. Maria would have been able to make sense of this. He stopped on the outskirts of the base, staring up at the stars. He remembered watching the stars from Space Colony Ark with her, sitting and talking. She'd wanted him to live and to be happy, but how could he do that without her around? Unbidden, he remembered something that she had said, a lifetime ago;  
>'I want you to be happy, Shadow, whatever happens in the future. Promise me you won't give up, no matter what.<br>She wanted him to be happy, even if she wasn't around to share that with him. She'd sacrificed herself, to give him the chance of a new life. However hard it was, he needed to live for himself and to let go of the past. Maria was gone, and nothing would change that, but he had a new life, now. And, he wasn't alone revelation left him feeling oddly empty, like some pressure had lifted from his chest. He knew now what he needed to do.

Rouge stepped out of base Gym, stopping when she saw Shadow standing in her path.  
>'I wanted to talk to you.' He said, and Rouge frowned;<br>'Really? You weren't so keen, earlier, as I remember.'  
>'I know. I'm...sorry for making you angry.'<br>'Angry? What makes you think I was angry?'  
>Shadow stepped past her, pushing open the door, where the punching bag was lying on the floor, with a rip down the middle and the sand spilling on the floor. He looked back at Rouge, who shrugged.<br>'Okay. So, I was a little angry. You blew me off back there, Shadow. After all we've been through, you treat me like that? How dare you? I thought we trusted each other.' She snapped, and Shadow looked away  
>'I've only trusted one person in my life, Rouge.' He said.<br>'Maria?' Rouge asked, gently, and Shadow nodded;  
>'When I was on Space Colony Ark, she was the only one that treated me like I mattered because of who I was. To everyone else, I was just a weapon, an experiment, a tool. She wanted me to have a life of my own, to be happy. After she was killed, and the time I spent in suspended animation, everything changed. I survived by not thinking, by just doing what Eggman wanted, because it gave me what I thought I wanted. Revenge against those who killed Maria, the humans who destroy anything that gets in their way. I buried everything else, because I couldn't face it. I swore that no-one else would matter more to me, and that I'd always remember her.<br>Rouge was silent for a moment, before asking;  
>'Shadow, is that why you've been pushing so hard, keeping everyone at arms length? Maria was your friend, and you miss her. But you have new friends who care about you.'<br>'I know. But I couldn't avoid thinking that I was betraying her memory by letting anyone else get close, like I was replacing her. I couldn't let that happen. But you and Omega, you probably know me better than anyone else. And...I've got used to you being around. So, perhaps it's time to stop thinking about what I've lost, and focus on what I still have. But, I don't think I can do it alone.' He said, and Rouge gave him a grin;  
>'Well, it's a good thing that I'm around, then. It won't be easy, Shadow, but you've got the best girl in your corner. Now, how do you feel about a little sparring?'<br>Shadow was about to turn her down, but something made him change his mind. Perhaps Rouge had the right idea, about living in the moment, and not thinking too much about what might happen tomorrow. For now, he was willing to give it a try.  
>'Alright. But I won't go easy on you.'<p>

The End  
>Reviews, comments and constructive criticism all very welcome<p> 


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